Whacking in the Bible #1

Can somebody show us where in the Bible it says that rednecks can kill people who disagree with them?

Just wonderin’

URWN Attacks the 14th Amendment

We’ve carefully analyze Colorado gubernatorial candidate Em Gideon’s comments on Senator Larry Graham’s move to repeal the 14th Amendment…

And can’t actually write any more at this time because we can’t stop laughing

We Like a Big Tent

A few hundred more like Scott Brown, and we could consider realigning with the mainstream GOP.

What the Hell Are They Smoking?

What the hell kind of tea are these Tea Party guys smoking?

They’ve got nothing to do with the original tea party mentality. Hell, these guys LOVED King George II (2001 – 2008).

Take everyone of today’s tea party guys back to 1775, and they’d be saying stuff like this:

“Hey, so what if the king is an idiot. We’re making money here.”

“Stop with this radical revolution talk, I can’t hear myself count.”

“Man, this is the life. Slip a few shekels to the crown every once in a while and we can do what we damned well please.”

“If you arseholes start this revolution, everybody loses. Do realize how much we’re going to have to pay people once they get this freedom idea in their little peasant brains?”

Makes us want a cup of freakin’ coffee.

Speaking of REAL RINOs – Teil Eins

What is with the uniform Glen Beck is wearing on the cover of his latest non-Holiday book?

No we’re not going to publicize its title here. If you want to find out, go and Bing the sucker.

We think it’s supposed to be Russian/Soviet or something like that, but his pouting puss and the brown shirt make us think a lot of Ernst Rohm (without the little mustache) and his little gang in 1933 Germany. They thought brown shirts with a lot of decorations were stylish then, too.

We’re assuming that:

a) Beck wants the cold war back, because a lot of people made a lot of money during the cold war.

b) He wants us to believe that WWII was a figment of FDR’s imagination.

c) He’s a good guy and wants us to fully understand that deregulation of the “derivatives” market had absolutely nothing in common with the corruption of the old Soviet bureaucracy.

d) Likes the look of men in Russian uniforms.

This sounds like a good start

Bloomberg reported today that 14,700 Americans have disclosed offshore accounts subject to taxation. That’s about 28% of the 52,000 the IRS was originally interested in, but hey, it’s a start.

We’re pretty sure that we don’t have any PNCP member with offshore accounts created for tax-evasion purposes, but we are looking into it to be positive. OK, maybe some of our people, and maybe some contributors, have offshore accounts, but they’re completely legitimate–really.

Really, they are.

Funny how we haven’t heard a single word from the URW about any of this.

We Beg to Differ, Maureen

We ran across this article from the New York Times a couple of weeks ago (the day after election day) by columnist Maureen Dowd about our favorite URW, Rush Limbaugh.

Since we are not liberal democrats, there is a pretty good chance that our opinions might differ from Ms. Dowd’s on some issues.

This article however has a statement with which we vehemently disagree.

No matter what Rushie Boy’s knowledge of classical music, Beluga caviar, or vintage champagne… he still is a freakin’ Neanderthal. We’re pretty convinced that the loudest, fattest cavemen in the Neanderthal era ate the finest foods available to them.

Two Party System

Q: PNCP seemed to come out of nowhere. Are you trying to break the two-party system? Do you believe in the two-party system?
— P. Cade, Solace Creek Colorado

A: We fully support the two-party system. To provide balance in American politics, we believe there should be both a Conservative Party and an Ultra-Right-Wing Conservative Party. Why? Because aside from being scary as hell, the URW is always good for a few laughs.

PNCP Gains Ground as URW Overrides Locals

When the URW national leaders interjected to shove their brownshirt Congressional candidate down the throats of upstate New Yorkers, the local leaders who had nominated and supported the moderate Congressional candidate appear to be jumping ship to the PNCP.

Have the brownshirts make a big mistake in overriding local choices?  Even some of the top URW leaders at the national level are speaking out about the decision. Unfortunately for the URW, the locally selected candidate has removed herself from the race.

We at PNCP say “Let them leave!” We’ll be happy to welcome any URW members who choose defection over submission.

Optirectomy

Q: What the hell is this Optirectomy stuff I see? You have a whole freakin’ category of stuff called Optirectomies.
– C.B. Topeka KS

A: The term optirectomy goes way back to early surgical procedures in the dark ages. It’s when somebody goes in and cuts the nerve that runs directly from your eyeballs to your backside and gives you a crappy outlook on life.